The eve of Halloween - October 31, 2003 (One week after the loss of Jon)
I have three young children who cannot grasp the loss of their brother. My husband takes them out for Trick-or-Treat. I sit in a dark house lit by candles and a glowing pumpkin. The reality that my child has died is too much to bear. I scream out, "Where are you?" I am answered by a haunting silence. I break down in tears and wonder, how will I ever survive this?
From here my journey had begun. I prayed, searched and reflected on the purpose of life. I found that within each new day I was moving toward a closer connection to God-Spirit-Universe.
My Spiritual Experiences
The Daffodils - October 24, 2003
It was the afternoon of this brisk, grey, autumn day that my three-year-old son and I planted daffodils. We dug the dirt and put in the bulbs in anticipation of their cheerful springtime arrival. I would have never imagined that within hours my life would be forever changed. I would be told that my child had died.
Seven months later I am at the cemetery. It is a beautiful day, with close to one hundred people tending to gravesites. A groundskeeper approaches me and comments on how nice Jon's grave looks. He asks me if I would like some bulbs, although he states, "We are not supposed to give them away." I ask, "What kind of bulbs are they?" He responds, "Daffodils." I could not believe what I was hearing. I was overwhelmed with joy as he filled my trunk with two hundred and fifty daffodil bulbs. I shared the bulbs with family and friends. Several years later my friend's son came up to me and said, "Your son's flowers are blooming." I knew that this experience was not a coincidence. It was a beautiful message from my son and God.
Several months after the loss of Jon I laid in bed face-down, attempting to fall asleep. I then began to feel a pressure on my back. I was still, my heart pounding, wondering what was happening. The pressure lifted for several seconds, returned and then diminished. I sat up. I then saw Jon in front of me. He had on a baseball cap and was smiling. I could not believe what I had just experienced. I had an overwhelming sense of peace knowing that Jon was still with me.
The Phone Calls
The phone calls began two weeks before Christmas of 2003. I was home alone attempting to decorate for the holidays. I was having a difficult time, and prayed for Jon to send me some sort of message that he was ok. A short time later I received a phone call from a woman in Alabama who stated that my number had shown up on her caller ID. I informed her that it was impossible since I was home alone. I then thought of my prayer. I explained to her that my son had passed away and how I had prayed for him to send me a message. She was a very spiritual person and said, "I am sure that this was the doings of your son, God will always answer your prayers." It was also interesting that she had called from Alabama, and my son's favorite song happened to be "Sweet Home Alabama". Over a number of years the phone calls continued. I began to track the caller’s number and time of the call. I contacted our local telephone provider. Not a surprise that there was never a call made from our landline at the time the calls were received on the individual's cell or landline phone. I believe that the energy we possess as human beings does not cease following our physical death.
The Globe Light
Several months after the loss of Jon, my daughter received a lamp of the globe for her birthday. It is one that is activated by touch (or energy). My daughter soon began to experience the lamp turning on by itself, and since she was sleeping in Jon's old room, she felt uneasy. I put the lamp in my room and found that it often would be glowing on its own at times of significance, such as birthdays, a holiday or when I was having a difficult day. My children will now call out, "Mom, do you know that the globe light is on?" I respond, "No." Nothing more needs to be said. Our belief in something beyond continues.
The stories I have shared just touch on the profound events that my family and I have experienced. We have been blessed to have these connections with Jon. I pray that you too will find some peace and comfort.